Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
