i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
