sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
