Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
