I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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