is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
