Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"

(262): View more from Wisconsin

That was long passed due.

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(805): View more from California

we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home

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(704): View more from North Carolina

there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone

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(651): View more from Minnesota

So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won

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(206): View more from Washington

When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.

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(941): View more from Florida

What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me

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