if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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