He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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