i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
