Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
