I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
