is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
