was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
