i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
