Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
