There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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