You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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