and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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