Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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