Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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