somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
