Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
