she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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