yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
