So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
