my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Can I color on your dick again?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
