why didn't you poke me back
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
