my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
