I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
