Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
