Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
