i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
