i think i have herpe
just one?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
