He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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