Im at strip club and am horny
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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