woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
