YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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