She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
