David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
