I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
