Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
