i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
