I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
