oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
