I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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