Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
