that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
