When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
