Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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