I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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